Are you in the driver’s seat? Of life, I mean. It’s nice to imagine that we all are but really? Sometimes we give it up and let others take the wheel. (And no, I’m not talking about letting Jesus take it.)

It’s time to take it back.

Here’s the thing: we all do this. We all settle into the back seat once in a while. And while that’s totally understandable, we really really don’t want to get comfy there. Because we’re supposed to be up front. We’re supposed to be the ones calling the shots, taking the turns, and yeah, even picking the radio station we’ll listen to.

We’re not supposed to be in the back seat.

I wrote a song, called it I Need You Lord. That was a million years ago. Okay, it was really more like ten years ago. But still – a decade, right? That’s a long time.

And it sat. And it sat. And it sat.

It wasn’t lonely, though. It sat with a bunch of other songs I’d written, some who’d been sitting in that drawer for much longer – decades longer, actually. And over the years it met some new songs that got tossed into the “someday” drawer.

There they all sat, patiently waiting.

And there they’d still be sitting, if I hadn’t given my fear and my pride a talking to.

That’s what holds us back, mostly. Fear. Fear of failure. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of not being good enough.

Well that, and pride.

Which is something you don’t really consider as a factor holding you back. Because, um? What? Pride keeps you from doing what you really want to do? That doesn’t make any sense.

I agree, it’s true. Pride is what you feel when you are (pardon the simplicity here): proud. So if you’re proud of what you’ve made, why would you not put it out in the world? Oh! (comes the next assumption) – so you’re NOT proud of what you made? Then you really shouldn’t put it out in the world.

But that’s not the pride I’m talking about.

I love the music I create. Of course I do, otherwise why would I do it? And you probably love the writing that you do, or the wisdom that you’ve gained in that subject you’ve studied for a decade or more, or the art that you create or the whatever-it-is-that-makes-you-smile just thinking about it. I’ll bet you’re a little bit, or more, proud of what you’ve been able to accomplish on the side while living your “real” life.

So no, that’s not the pride I’m talking about. That’s not the pride that gets in the way.

The pride that gets in the way is the one that says I made other choices, I made a different sort of life, I didn’t choose that path when I was twenty, so I don’t want it to look like I made a mistake all those years ago. Or worse, that I seriously have no singular focus.

Ah, yes. That pride.

The pride that says I must stick to a choice I made years (decades) ago, because I don’t want anyone to think that I made a mistake. The pride that says you can’t change your mind or your choices or your life.

Yeah, that pride.

Can I just tell you something, heart-to-heart?

That pride lies. That pride is just way too freakin’ proud for its own good. That pride needs a serious talking to.

You decided to take a steady job to provide for your family, feed your kids, and keep the oil in the tank? Good for you. I think you made the right choice. But now things are all steady and ready, and you’re making a choice to try something new. Thank you Pride, you can go join Fear in the backseat now. I’m driving.

You decided to be a mama to a bunch of munchkins whose hearts are sewn right into your own, give up a job or a career or a path that you’d had your eyes on, in order to keep your eyes and your mind and your heart on your kids? You’re amazing and I applaud you. I think you rock. But now things are all steady and ready and yep, you can make an additional choice. So yes, thank you Pride, for voicing your concerns, but really – we’re really all right here now. You can go join Fear in the backseat. Don’t forget to buckle up. Because I’m driving.

You decided to go for the law degree instead of art school? Or art school instead of the law degree? Medical school instead of midwifery? Poetry instead of psychology?

And now you want to change your mind?

Oh my dear, what is life for if not for changing your mind?

In fact, the very fact that we have a mind that we can change is an amazing thing. Choice. Free will. Call it whatever you want, the fact is that we have a Creator who created us to create. And without free will, how in the world can we create our own lives?

I don’t know how many photographs you have in your drawer. How many poems, or essays about psychoanalysis, or articles about midwifery. But I do know that you might have some.

And I do think, I really do think, that it’s time to dust them off. It just might be time to give your fear and your pride a serious talking to. It might just be time to let them know the facts.

They’re in the back seat now.

You’re driving.

~xo,
LuAnne