1. Paying more attention to what you don’t have than to what you do have
There’s a reason why gratitude changes lives. Filling your mind with what you don’t have will never make you happy. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to dream of more (please see #17), but if you’re spending more time thinking about what is missing in your life than about what is in your life you’re depriving yourself of joy.
2. Beating yourself up over your past mistakes
You’re human. You’ve made mistakes. Like all humans do. It’s time to let them go.
3. Trying to please everyone
Seriously, you are never ever ever going to do this. It’s not your job. It will not lead to joy. No one wants you to do this. Please, please, please stop trying to please everyone and start being your amazing self.
4. Comparing yourself to others
We do this because…? Yeah, I don’t know why either. It doesn’t help anyone or anything. So maybe we could all just stop comparing ourselves to others and start being ourselves for others? And yes, letting others be themselves too.
5. Feeling sorry for yourself
I’ve heard it said that those who see the glass as half-full or half-empty are missing the point – that the glass is re-fillable. Your glass is not empty and you’re not a victim. You can re-fill.
6. Holding grudges
You are a human living among other humans. It’s bound to be messy. But there’s no need to hold on to the mess. Toss it out.
7. Needing to win every argument
…or be right all of the time
…or have the last word in every discussion
This does not help anything, or anyone, ever. And also, it wastes a lot of time and hurts feelings. Letting go of the need to win can be a game-changer, a relationship-changer, a life-changer.
8. Pretending to be okay when you’re not
Life has its ups, and life has its downs, and there’s no need to pretend the downs don’t exist. Being honest and real about what’s real (with those you love and trust) does not make you weak or a failure or anything of the sort. Letting each other in on the downs enables us to pick each other up.
9. Trying to be someone you’re not
This is exhausting. It’s like being onstage for your entire life. Are we really here for this short time so that we can play a part? I mean, I know that all the world’s a stage and we’re merely players, but maybe the part we’re supposed to play is the part we actually are. And anyway, if you ‘play’ yourself, the lines are much easier to learn.
10. Apologizing for being who you are
…and surrounding yourself with people who demand that you do so. Messy humans are one thing, controlling humans are a different story. It’s already been established that you are gloriously and wonderfully made. Stop apologizing for your glorious, wonderful self. You’re good.
11. Wearing clothes that you don’t love
Assuming you’re not in junior high anymore…there’s no need to follow the crowd in the fashion department. Actually, even if you are in junior high, there’s no need to follow the crowd in the fashion – or any other – department. Be who you are. Wear what you love.
12. Saying ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’
Life is short. Time is precious. No one is going to be mad at you if you say ‘no’ to something. And if they are, that’s kind of okay because this is your life and you actually do get to decide what you do with it.
13. Saying ‘no’ when you really want to say ‘yes’
We say ‘no’ to so many things for so many reasons – some of them good (‘no’ to the extra cookie, even though I want it because…healthy choices!) and some of them not so good (‘no’ to the invitation to go salsa dancing, even though I want to go because…what if I look like a fool?) Everything doesn’t have to be a ‘yes’. But…everything doesn’t have to be a ‘no’ either.
14. Eating food that doesn’t nourish you well
Occasional cookies aside, one of the most important ways we can practice self-care is by choosing to nourish ourselves well. Actually, one could argue that the occasional cookie does nourish us well in a special-treat-kind-of-way. But a steady diet of them might not. Real food, plenty of veggies, water-water-water, and skipping the processed stuff is one of the best gifts you can give your body. And you deserve it.
15. Sitting (too much)
Move more. Sit less. You’ll feel better. Trust me.
16. Ignoring your intuition
Yes, sometimes your gut tells you something and it turns out to be wrong. But sometimes it’s not. The least you can do is to listen to it and give it some consideration.
Sure, there are times when you need to put something off until the time is right. But if you’re simply putting off doing what you really want to do because you’re afraid of failure or you think you don’t know enough or you don’t want to be all selfish-like by following your own dreams, you need to re-think. Failure is not final and what you don’t know you can learn and here’s the thing – you were created to be you, dreams and all. Stop waiting to live your one glorious and amazing life.
That’s all I wanted to say.
Have a most-beautiful day!
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