You know those people who have it all together?

Like, all of the time?

They’re never late, never have a bad hair day (or week), never forget to carry things like tissues and jumper cables in their car? They exude efficiency and grace and put-together-ness.

Yeah, they annoy me.

Mostly because I’m the most un-put-together person I’ve ever met.

I am routinely late, consider a good hair day to be cause for major celebration since it happens so infrequently, and do not even know how to actually use jumper cables.

But sometimes I carry tissues, so that’s something.

But grace? I’ve been searching for grace for a hundred thousand years. I’ve found it in a hundred thousand places, but I’ve never been able to inhale enough of it to last more than ten minutes.

I’ve never really been able to keep my house clean for more than ten minutes, either.

So yeah, I am basically the most un-put-together person I have ever met. And my comment about being annoyed with those people who are put together just shows how grace-less I can be.

But really, graciousness is something that I truly aspire to be. (And if you’re my kid, you can stop laughing right now.) I have no idea what “gracious” even means, mostly because I don’t want to. Because number one: I hate to lose. And number two: I hate to be wrong. So basically, graciousness and me are totally incompatible.

Oh yeah, and I really, really, really hate to admit my failures.

But I hate even more to admit my faults, mostly because quite a few of them are still with me. Not all of them, of course. I mean, I have evolved a bit. But I most definitely really do not have it all together.

And yet, still, I search for grace. Every day.

Because there is one thing that I do know for sure – that grace is real and always and gift for all of us messy humans who’re fumbling around trying to figure out this life-thing.

Grace is here.

Every day.

Finding it can prove tricky, though. Because when you’re searching for grace or motivation or how to use jumper cables you usually consult someone who actually knows these things, or has found these things. You read books or blogs or watch videos, and then you do what they say to do. Follow the instructions.

This works well for motivation. It probably works well for jumper-cable-instruction.

But it does not work well at all for finding grace.

Grace is far too personal for a one-size-fits-all instruction manual. Searching for your own personal gift of grace where someone else found their gift doesn’t work.

Personally, I think this is just God showing off. Surprising us with unexpected grace in the most unexpected place of here – right here where you are this exact moment, for who you are this exact moment, every moment.

Grace is personal and personally given to each of us.

Can I just say…I love this about God.

My grace, my gift, right here and right now and exactly perfect just for me.

This is how grace happens.

It’s always exactly perfect just for me.

Just for you.

Just in the way you need it to be.

I spent years searching for grace in places I’d read of other people, more gracious people, finding it.

In meditation and hanging laundry and silent retreats and picking lettuce and picking up the house and tying up tomatoes, but none of these felt like grace, exactly.

And then, one day, I stopped looking where other people found grace and started looking where my heart was.

Melody. Rhyme. Rhythm.

Grace – God – found me in lyric and tune and the things that spoke to my heart, which He put in my heart to begin with, and me? I stopped thinking that Grace was something I needed to chase, and realized that it was something I needed to notice exactly where I was as exactly who I was.

This I can do. I can’t say that I’ll start having consistently good hair days, that I’ll never be late, or that I’ll actually watch one of those videos about jumper cables.

But I can notice grace.

In all the right places.

~xo,
LuAnne